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Fandomonium
in Tampa Bay Event and Film Festival 001
01. Introduction
02. The
Journey into fandom begins
03. The
story of the swag bag
04. Role
call
05. Independent
film screening
06. Interviews
07. Photography
shoot, closing and event score card
Fandomonium
in Tampa Bay 001
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Independent film screening
For once, I actually was able to sit down and “watch” some
independent films. I will be reviewing these films, but for
the scope of this film festival review, I won’t, technically, do
it here and now (Because I really wasn’t paying those films the
attention that they deserved, and will now have to hunt them down and
watch them so that I can actually review them). I will simply list the
films that were playing, and then link to the reviews when the reviews
are up. On here, I will simply state my opinion based upon my initial
impression; a sort of mini review preview.
Since Marcus was hanging out with me during the event, I will also note
his opinions, when appropriate; I am sure that he won’t mind.
The
Trap
This was Marcus’s film. I have seen it (just not recently, and not
much during this event), and like it a lot. It is about a bunch of people
who wake up in the middle of nowhere and then are hunted by a mysterious
sniper. Recommended, and highly effective, cost-effective
filmmaking.
Marcus excused himself at the start of this film and went to talk to someone,
as this film, as well as others, was streamed off of Youtube, and Marcus
stated that the aspect ratio (a serendipitous
pun, if you ask me!) was not good, and that it had to be corrected.
The
Thing Under The Bed
An interesting short film, from Danford, and starring Maria
Puma, I believe.
The only problem was that it was too short. There was no story, and it
felt like a teaser trailer. I would have liked to see something more made
of this. It looked good, and the acting was good. It just doesn’t
go anywhere.
The title pretty much sums it up. A couple on vacation are arguing in
bed about the woman turning on the light in their hotel room and insisting
that she sees red eyes staring at her in the dark. The man, and then the
woman, are attacked. They both die. The end.
What was the thing under the bed, anyway? A mutant bedbug? A Tasmanian
Devil? The voyeuristic hotel clerk? A
tooth fairy succubus? My ex girlfriend, who obviously slept with the man
and thought that he was hers? A Siren? The giant mutant Sperm from Nuke-Em-High?
A Boogen? Aliens with acid-laced claws? The Overfiend?
Some demonic creature who does what a Cuckoo Catfish does, impregnates
the woman Urotsukidoji style (Do NOT look that
up unless you want your head to explode. You’ll never want to eat
Calamari again, I can assure you), gives the couple amnesia by sucking
on their brains, and makes the man believe that it was his child that
she is pregnant with (which would be too screwed up for an independent
film, although I have heard of guys being brood parasites, knocking a
woman up, and then have the woman convince her husband or boyfriend that
it is his. Could you imagine the horror of raising a child or of paying
for child support for a child which was never yours to begin with?)? Well,
at least THAT would be one hell of a story (and Danford, upon reading
this, probably thinks that I am on drugs. I can assure you, kind sir,
that I am not. Oh, and yes, feel free to borrow these ideas for any future
independent film projects. You are most certainly welcome). Better
make it a feature film to tackle that.
Oh, and what is the motivation for the thing under the bed to kill the
couple? What is the point? Can someone tell me that?!?!?
Shortest short film that I have ever seen. Maybe something that could
have been edited down and further distilled to play on that Vine online
video site where you can only show six second clips?
Hmmmmm....... 6 second independent films. There has to be
a way to make that work! This could be a prototype! I could
see how this could have been done in 6 seconds, since there wasn’t
a story or character development to get in the way.
Although too short, I liked this film, which is why I am whining about
the length. And the lack of a story. Here's hoping for the Thing Under
The Bed: Director's Cut, or an expanded version.
Rat
Catching
Marcus and I were sitting in front of the filmmakers behind this one.
I did not know it at the time. With all of my 
experiences
catching and releasing Rats lately, namely the nasty Roof Rats that I
named Alex, Jonathan, and Larry after three dirtbag, douchebag photographers
(Don’t worry. I did not hurt the Rats. I caught and released them.
They were released into a snake infested wooded area, and I heard them
squeak in terror as the snakes struck, choked them out, and ate them,
but they were released unharmed!) I pointed out to Marcus that the Rat
in the film was a domesticated Rat, and was not the wild one depicted.
I had Rats like those as pets when I was a kid, and they were awesome;
one even escaped one day, and then came up to me in my parents shed months
later, where I picked him up and returned him to a pampered lifestyle.
The filmmakers heard me, and after they went up to the stage to discuss
it, and then returned to their seats, we talked about that. Real wild
Rats, you see, are much, much nastier than the one depicted in the film.
I should know, because I name them after jerk photographers (I need to
add those Rat release videos here so that you all can see what a real
wild Rat looks like. I have all of the Rat releases on video).
The
Cure
Review is pending. I am not sure what this film was about, to be honest.
I must have been distracted when it was playing.
The
Other Side: Episode 2: The Abandoned Land
This one was a Wynkoop film. In it, Wynkoop was fighting a bunch of people
in a palmetto-filled pine scrub wilderness..... One filled with Eastern
Diamondback Rattlesnakes, I assume, because I know that kind of environment
and used to hunt snakes to eat in those areas as a kid.... Mmmmmmmm....
I need to go out and hunt another big, juicy snake, soon! Ah, and Alligator
tail is delish, too! Of course, the snakes were not shown, which sucked.
Anyway, it was interesting, but I have no clue what it was about. It looked
like a bunch of fighting with very little plot, and it was difficult for
this one to keep my attention.
It would have been better if it was about a cult of wilderness-dwelling
sex-starved fashion and swimsuit model nymphomaniacs who captured Wynkoop
and took him back to their Palmetto shelter for breeding purposes.
After they drained the Koop of his essence, a special forces team rescues
him, and Wynkoop, weakened from the torture, then had to fight the special
forces team off because they were after the women after they saw them
running around naked in the woods and wanted them for themselves; a truly
ironic plot twist. Yeah. That.
Oh, and once the Koop defeated the Special Forces team, the women then
turned on him, and plan to sacrifice him. As Koopa Troopa is about to
die from a thousand cuts from sawtooth Palmettos, hanging upside down
on a oak tree, the women rub their stomachs and tell him that
most of them will be having his baby..... and, then.........
Well, I am getting ahead of myself.
And, no, when I make independent films of my own, I will not make a film
like that. Please get your mind out of the gutter, pervs!
Time
Keeper: Season 1 - Episode 1
I liked this one. Marcus didn’t. He said that the special effects,
of which there were a lot of, were overdone. I can see his point, but
I did like the film, and thought that the effects were appropriate for
the film, as well as interesting.
Hmmmm...... Marcus and I should team up to do Peanut Gallery independent
film reviews. We don’t see eye to eye with films, and it would be
interesting with the contrasting viewpoints.
Time Keeper, anyway, was about a time traveler
(Actually, my favorite subject), and we are not talking about Doctor
Who here with his Tardis (Which
I honestly do not know much about because I cannot stand Doctor Who).
Because my constantly running mouth distracted me as I talked to Marcus,
that is all that I can currently say about this film. Wait for the review,
which will come after I can finally watch it.
I have this downloaded on my Galaxy S4 phone, but I am not sure if it
is this episode, or another one.
Shooter
Villain
Review is pending. Another film which I do not remember. Again, I was
probably distracted. Bad, bad reviewer!
Thanksgiving
Day
The most amusing thing about this film is that I originally thought, from
the poster, that the killer was wearing a pig head, which turned out to
be a turkey in the film. Weird.
Anyway, I wanted it to be a pig head. The turkey was just kind of stupid.
Killer pig swine boars killing topless whores could one day be a big thing
in horror films. Or not. Probably not. Unless Danford
makes a film about that, in which case it will probably be awesome and
would rule all.
So, what was with the turkey? Do we really want to see the psycho killer
contract salmonella from wearing raw meat on his face? What would happen
if some topless bimbo that he was killing decided to eat off his face
so she could see his identity before she died, and because fighting off
a killer gets a girl hungry? I’m sure that she doesn’t want
to get salmonella, either!
Kids, just remember the dangers of cross-contamination when preparing
or handling any raw meat, and make sure that you cook your meat well before
consuming it. That is all that I have to say about that.
Unless it was a cooked Turkey on his head. Then, I shall have to write
a lot more about this.
The
Brain from Planet Arous
This was the big feature film of Fandomonium in Tampa Bay, a 1957 black
and white science fiction film, of which one of its stars, actress Joyce
Meadows, was in attendance. Of course, being that I was
not recording the films with my video camera, and I had work to do with
interviews in the lobby, I was unable to stay in the theater to watch
this (During my interview with Andy Lalino, however,
I mused that it was probably in the public domain and
could be found and downloaded online, and, later, I discovered
that I was right! I like it when I am right, arriving at a correct conclusion
from the skillful application of deductive reasoning. Anyway, I used a
video app to download the full movie to my phone. At the time of this
writing, I have seen about half of the movie, and it is ok..... It’s
a little out there. Joyce Meadows was beautiful in the movie, however,
and she did a great job with her role!).
As
we watched the films...... Wait, who am I kidding, here? It is obvious
that I didn’t watch much of the films. I was too
busy talking. Anyway, I was hungry, and decided to eat, too.
Hannah, who was my server, did a great job. I ordered chicken fingers
with honey mustard dipping sauce and fries, with ice water to drink. She
gave me a salad to start out with, and a pitcher of water. I kept the
pitcher of water down on the floor under the tripod of the video camera,
because I did not want to accidently spill water on my gear, which was
piled on the table. This worked well at first, but all of my gear on the
table offset the plate of food to the side, which led to me flipping the
plate off of the table and dumping the food all over myself halfway through
eating. I felt like a little kid making a massive mess, and, because it
was so dark in the theater, it was really tough to clean up when I could
not see.
Fortunately, I had a napkin unfolded on my lap, which is how you are supposed
to dine, and it kept the honey mustard from getting onto my clothes. My
hands were a sticky mess, however, and I needed to have clean hands to
operate my video camera, which I had to pause and unpause because I did
not want to record the films themselves, and only wanted to record the
introductions and the presentations on the stage. Of course, some of that
was ruined because of my big mouth constantly running, so I guess eating
had an additional benefit by keeping my mouth occupied.
Anyway, regarding my mess and the food all over the floor, Hannah did
a great job cleaning it up, and I apologized to her for making the mess.
Because I could not leave my equipment unsupervised, I washed my hands
by pouring a little water on them and cleaning them off with napkins.
It worked extremely well, and I was clean and no longer sticky.
I was able to run my gear.
The opinions expressed in this review are those of the author, alone, and may not be shared by Tampa Bay Film or anyone else named on the Tampa Bay Film web site, which includes, but is not limited to, affiliates, contributors, filmmakers, sponsors, and advertisers. Information in this review consists of opinions unless otherwise specified.
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